So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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