Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
