Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
