i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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