Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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