hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
