Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
