At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
