people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
As shirtless as possible
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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