I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
