so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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