nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
