I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
