I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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