Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
