maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
