Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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