you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
