During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
