Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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