Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
