she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
