Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
