I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
