Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if only i could text you this smell
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
