With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
