I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
