No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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