called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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