After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
