Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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