YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
