Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
