Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
