So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
