I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
