Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This toilet bowl is my home.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
