I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize