I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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