my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
