I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Damn victory sex feels great
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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