So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
