Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
