and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
