he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
