he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
