Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
