I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
