Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
