i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
