Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
