Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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