you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
