i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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