CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
