I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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