I look better un-naked...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
